Ah, I forgot. Liverpool won against Chelsea with the point 1-0. Heck, Torres didn't even play but they still manage to win (!) I am guessing if he is in the game, he will most likely score 2 more points. Or even 3, yes ? HAHA !
xoxo,
M
Current wants : lace-ups, grey cardigan, leather pants/tights and a corset-like top (I want this so badly !) Just got back from OU with A. Bought an orange lacy top from Forever 21. The King said that when he is at London, he walk pass H&M. He says that people are barging in and out so he decided to not get inside. I was like this when he said that. Observe --> 0.0 I saw F the other day in her amazing yellow jumpsuit. I hate the fact that she has all the to-die-for clothes. Maybe it's because she travel a lot ? But wait, good news. She bought me a Topshop stopwatch-lookalike necklace. I swear I could hear the angel sing Hallelujah when she hands it to me. I am stoked (!) S is finally looking better but he says it feels weird when someone else's blood is running through your veins. F said he's being a drama queen. Haha I will bring my favorite lads to visit him but he said please do not bring an army. Because he'll feel shy. Haha that is so rad (!) I am having a crush on him. He makes me smile whenever I see his face. I feel so comfortable when I am with him. I am touched by his kindness towards me. And I always feel safe when he is around. Okay, enough. It is almost a year that S' mother passed away. I have come to a realization that I miss her. I miss her chocolate cake and her warm smile. I miss everything about her.
M
; Bahasa Malaysia, CHECK ! English, CHECK ! Maths, CHECK ! Science, CHECK ! History, CHECK ! Civics, CHECK ! 4 more subjects to go, yo !
Look at me, Look at you.
Liverpool won against Wigan with the score 3-2. Torres came with le girlfriend. Yes, Torres still looks good despite the fact that he is injured. All hail Kuyt (!) Went to see A today, he picked me up then we went to a so-called breakfast at around 1.30 pm. Then he drove to Bukit Jelutong. Seen his house and we hang at a playground (yes, a playground -_- ') He saw a fake blue gun that submits a very annoying sound. I soon realize that he is very childish when he plays the gun almost all the time :-) He sent me back home around 6.30 pm. So yeah, it is a good day. He does makes me feel better. I went to see L for a while. We talk and then she ask me about my previous post. I said I will tell her later. It feels good when she asks me, as if she is worried. I will most probably tell her everything tomorrow. The King gave me money this morning and I can slowly imagining me, wearing a lace-ups. SOON (!) Finally beginning to talk again with Y on msn. I miss her so much and we both know that we have not spent some quality time together. I have made up my mind that after finals, I will go out with her. I am having my Bahasa Malaysia exam tomorrow but mm I haven't studied anything yet. Even though the principal want to see me do well on my exams, I don't really care. It is not like she really knows me, I don't even think she knows which class I am in. I talk in her previous class and she is currently aiming for me. She said it out loud 'I want to see A___h pass in flying colors for Bahasa Malaysia'. The inner thoughts said 'way to go, A___h. You're such a pain in the ass.' I don't care if I failed. Why ? Because it is not like she teaches us. From what I have noticed, she will talk at the front alone in a teeny weeny voice. I feel like shouting out 'Come on, I can't hear you !' If my mind are crazy enough to say that, she will say 'Oh why does all these people (pointing to the classmates sitting in front) can hear me?' RIGHTEOUS.
xoxo,
M
Oh Lord (!)
mm I don't think that I will be going to A's house tonight. Hesitation. Seeing their picture does hurt. And yes, I feel so far from them. These few days, I woke up with a question in my mind. 'What did I do to deserve this ?'. Why do I feel so fucked up ? It is as if no one wants to talk to me, nor tell me their problems. I felt that my life had crashed and burned. Some days i lost my breath, and felt that i had nothing left. I am depressed. But I will make it through, don't worry about me.
News check ; Torres is injured while in a game against Belgium, confirming a tear in his right hamstring. He could not join Liverpool in a game with his former club, Atletico Madrid.
I play dead-
Had lunch at BK, a fattening black pepper burger. Thoughts of having a large, thick feet are put aside. Got home and quickly rush through the kitchen. I cooked a spaghetti for a sister from another mother. I held myself from putting a tobacco in it. Yes, bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Ah here is my wishlist for the birthday : (1) Grey cardigan (2) Grey blazer (3) Lace-ups ! (4) PVC/leather legging (5) Bowl hat. Other than that, flowers (yes, flowers) or a Kinder Bueno eno would do the trick. A dream last night
; I saw was practically hugging me from behind. My brain quickly
simplify. It was a dream between a nightmare and a I-am-in-wonderland
kind of dream, and he was whispering something in my ear that I could not remember. And N used to be the reason why my heart flutters whenever I see him but everything changes. I despise him. It started to rain again, as I slowly discover that I gets cranky when it rains. Phone calls, messages, comments are all forgotten. I have been trying to find what is wrong with me. Yes, I smiled. But something is still not right. And then it hits me ; I miss my friends. I always thought that it is the same whether I am there or not. Sometimes I wonder what would it be if I died or I move away somewhere far ? And this satanic voice inside of me said ; 'Shut it you dumbass, they would not care'. That is why I try to stop coming to any gathering or meet-ups .. mm I don't think they care. And that is why I stopped caring.
M
It must be raining season.
The smell of rain hits my nose. Cranky. Everything feels wrong. Hair, face, body, life. It is sad. A close friend, suddenly a new friend comes along and everything changes. And yes, I am okay. Birthday is soon to be coming, I don't expect a very happy day. Birthdays has always feels the same. Nothing special. I am currently dying for a lace-up. But the allowance did not approve of getting one this month. The parents gets back from London and Frankfurt last Tues. The queen actually makes a good choice in buying le perfume this time. A roxy love was picked. I break my vow in keeping a long hair. I now, have a bob-cut. The inner side agrees that it looks better than before. On Sat, S, G and R invited me for their open house. And I might be seeing Ari. Expect a long, hectic day (!) My head hurts from running in the rain for a short notice. Browsed the web for a picture of Torres (wet thoughts !) and find one that will most probably land a place in my wallpaper. W called just now, and we started to talk about when, how and why our heart breaks, literally. Thought of playing winning eleven but I opted for a head massage. My spines are finally begining to relax. I went upstairs and wore only a knickers with a top. I lie on the bed while listening to the sound of the rain and slowly welcome the darkness.
Current addiction : Tiramisu.
Good day
xoxo,
M
I am officially offended.
With her words and his message. I feel like tearing their face off. What am I ? Heh. I am still at le hometown. I regret (with certain reasons) approving to stay for another day here. Thank god I am going back tomorrow. I can’t stand living another day here. A friend just gave me a picture of a certain someone in a girl’s knickers. I held myself back from laughing out loud. The king is sleeping soundlessly on the bed so I have to be very very quiet. The auntie asks why are we going home so soon. She gives me that unconvincing look when The Queen answers. Yes, my cat are more important than this sick back stabbing family. I received a message from thee neighbor saying that my cat are looking healthier now. The King says that we will be on our way back probably at 11am. I A-M T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D (!) Do I make my point that I hate being here ? Yes, No ? Yes ? Good. Miss S had to give my number to this one sick guy, G. She did not want to give it because I think she knows how much I despise the way he talk to me. But he, being a paranoid, message-ed her for many times and she finally gave in. I mean, who wouldn’t ? Alas, it triggers the rage when he messages me. If I did not reply, he would sent another one saying ‘busy ke ?’ I think that yesterday he sends a hundred message (!) Miss S, being a good friend decided to confront him. Telling him that he shouldn’t send lots of message to me. I mean, come on. I need my space for god’s sake.
To Whom It May Concern: I am over him.
xoxo,
M
