Another night, another dream wasted on you-
I have the guts to actually says 'I love you' and you think it's funny ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I wanted to see you on Sunday, all that you say is 'eh I thought you didn't want to see me'. What are you saying ? I'm sorry that I can't stop thinking of you. Even though how much you makes me cry, I still wanted to see you. Sometimes I feel stupid that it seems I am the only one who's in love. A friend of mine says that maybe you are used to a girl coming to you, being in love with you. While you on the other hand feels nothing. I don't know how I falls for you. I feel sorry for myself that I had to endure all the pain just to be with you. A devilish voice inside me says that you are just fooling around with me. Somehow I tried my best to ignore those thoughts. Why ? Because I love you.
M
I have the guts to actually says 'I love you' and you think it's funny ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I wanted to see you on Sunday, all that you say is 'eh I thought you didn't want to see me'. What are you saying ? I'm sorry that I can't stop thinking of you. Even though how much you makes me cry, I still wanted to see you. Sometimes I feel stupid that it seems I am the only one who's in love. A friend of mine says that maybe you are used to a girl coming to you, being in love with you. While you on the other hand feels nothing. I don't know how I falls for you. I feel sorry for myself that I had to endure all the pain just to be with you. A devilish voice inside me says that you are just fooling around with me. Somehow I tried my best to ignore those thoughts. Why ? Because I love you.
M
I don't get all of this -
I confessed to you and not one word ? You treats me nicely but I do not understand what that means. You are on my mind 24/7. I tried my best to not contact you for a few days in order to forget you. For a second I feel like - oh I don't care about him anymore. But then you called me. I feel like swearing. Why do you always pops in my life at the wrong time ? You said you missed me, and wanted to see me but somehow I don't believe it. I feel like I am the only one who is trying so hard to meet you. But you act like everything is alright even though I feel like shit when you cancel our plan for the 4th time. I don't get it, I JUST DON'T GET IT. Waiting is alright, I don't mind but please tell me to wait for you. You left me hanging. And that is when I wanted to try my best to forget you. But then I realize that I can't. Everything I do reminds me of you. The way you widens your eyes whenever I told you that you have a pair of small eyes, the way you teases me, the way you makes me laugh and the way you makes me smile out of nowhere. First you'll ignore me, leaving me to wonder what did I do wrong. Then you'll be nice to me. I'm confused, what the heck do you want from me ?
M
I confessed to you and not one word ? You treats me nicely but I do not understand what that means. You are on my mind 24/7. I tried my best to not contact you for a few days in order to forget you. For a second I feel like - oh I don't care about him anymore. But then you called me. I feel like swearing. Why do you always pops in my life at the wrong time ? You said you missed me, and wanted to see me but somehow I don't believe it. I feel like I am the only one who is trying so hard to meet you. But you act like everything is alright even though I feel like shit when you cancel our plan for the 4th time. I don't get it, I JUST DON'T GET IT. Waiting is alright, I don't mind but please tell me to wait for you. You left me hanging. And that is when I wanted to try my best to forget you. But then I realize that I can't. Everything I do reminds me of you. The way you widens your eyes whenever I told you that you have a pair of small eyes, the way you teases me, the way you makes me laugh and the way you makes me smile out of nowhere. First you'll ignore me, leaving me to wonder what did I do wrong. Then you'll be nice to me. I'm confused, what the heck do you want from me ?
M
23rd November 2008, Sunday.
D messaged me, that she found a PVC legging at F21. For a cheaper price than topshop's. I did not find the legging so I opted for a black and red knit cardigan : key item this month ! Next shopping list includes that PVC legging and a scarf. Yes, a scarf. F21 has a wide collection of 'em. A trip to Jakarta by December. Shop, shop, shop. Went to the lagoon with a few lads. Screamed on top of my lungs when the lads decided to take another round of the freaking-huge-fast roller coaster. Sat next to A. I feel quite sorry that he had to hear me screaming. I remember chanting out loud 'why do I agreed for a second round' just when the roller coaster dives 90 degrees into a cave. A was laughing endlessly and I remembered him saying 'relax, Mika' for a few times :-) Bump into A, K, and S the other day at the mall. For some certain reasons, K said to me 'you're glowing'. I was all gooey inside but I know that he's not serious. So I giggle and he chuckle. Just then I realize how much I miss hanging out with A and the rest of his band mates. (including K, duhh) Q gave me a dvd ; 'Stay'. I don't know the name of the actor and the actress because I think they are still new in the show biz. The movie is about this one guy who plays a bet with his friends, if he can make a girl falls for him, they have to pay him 500 dollars. But if he falls for the girl, he has to pay each one of his friends. So he targets this one girl (the heroine) and yes, she falls head over heels for him. That guy does fancy her but he tries to hide it because he did not want to pay to his friends. So he leaves her. She finds out and give him a song, 'I have nothing'. But he did not dare to love her. I cried at the end. Yes, it's a good tear-jerker movie. Why don't you try it ?
M
D messaged me, that she found a PVC legging at F21. For a cheaper price than topshop's. I did not find the legging so I opted for a black and red knit cardigan : key item this month ! Next shopping list includes that PVC legging and a scarf. Yes, a scarf. F21 has a wide collection of 'em. A trip to Jakarta by December. Shop, shop, shop. Went to the lagoon with a few lads. Screamed on top of my lungs when the lads decided to take another round of the freaking-huge-fast roller coaster. Sat next to A. I feel quite sorry that he had to hear me screaming. I remember chanting out loud 'why do I agreed for a second round' just when the roller coaster dives 90 degrees into a cave. A was laughing endlessly and I remembered him saying 'relax, Mika' for a few times :-) Bump into A, K, and S the other day at the mall. For some certain reasons, K said to me 'you're glowing'. I was all gooey inside but I know that he's not serious. So I giggle and he chuckle. Just then I realize how much I miss hanging out with A and the rest of his band mates. (including K, duhh) Q gave me a dvd ; 'Stay'. I don't know the name of the actor and the actress because I think they are still new in the show biz. The movie is about this one guy who plays a bet with his friends, if he can make a girl falls for him, they have to pay him 500 dollars. But if he falls for the girl, he has to pay each one of his friends. So he targets this one girl (the heroine) and yes, she falls head over heels for him. That guy does fancy her but he tries to hide it because he did not want to pay to his friends. So he leaves her. She finds out and give him a song, 'I have nothing'. But he did not dare to love her. I cried at the end. Yes, it's a good tear-jerker movie. Why don't you try it ?
M
